Wow so 3 whole years since I've blogged. For the 4 people who might read this, here's a quick summary of what I've done since my last post in August 2007: Went to college, got some sciencey A levels, went to Imperial college, passed first year and found a flat in London for a lot of money. Success! So despite the fact that 3 years have passed I find myself in almost exactly the same situation as when I last posted to my blog. Sat in my room up late, complaining about about how boring the summer holidays are and playing my Wii. For someone who has illegidly changed a lot in the last couple of years, I really haven't changed a bit. Simply put, I'm a slightly older, grumpier and more educated version of the annoying teenage kid I was then... and I can buy alcohol legally now! There isn't a lot to say at this point, just a post to try and make myself believe I'll blog again, so I'd just like to ask anyone reading this a question which has been confusing me for a while. When you cut a scone in half, why does the top half fall apart when you spread jam on it but the bottom half stays completely intact? I'll leave you with that... Much love, Jam Jam Quote of the day: "I only have to make it to 34 and I've beaten Jesus at living"

Campage!! XD

Wow, it actually happened... the weather allowed us to go camping! So the location of the first proper camping trip of the summer; Oxwich bay =P One of the most awkward and expensive places to get to via bus in Swansea/Gower...and on a fucking Sunday too, and with the travel arrangements left in the hands of an irishman this trip seemed to be a disaster waiting to happen. With my food and Stella Artois carefully packed into a bag the size of a small nation, I set off to Swansea bus station. As we sa5t in a group looking about as suspicious as something I cannot mention for it is rather racist we waited...and waited...and waited. Why the fuck did we meet an hour and a half before the bus comes? Again what happens when things are left to an irishman. But thev time passed swiftly enough and within two and a half hours of meeting, a 40 minute bus journey and a long fucking hike across sand dunes we finally saw the sea! Of course within minutes of dumping everything and locating an appropriate site every6one was fully clothed in the sea...all apart from Mr Joe, Joel and myself. These fearless warriors had stripped down to their underwear...and once bollock deep, nothing at all! It was at this moment that a pact was made...to skinny dip at midnigt...only this time all clothing would remain on the sand =P So after drying off Joel decided it would be fun to attempt to break our necks in a pretty damn hooge sand dune...always a good laugh. However the "Jump as far down it as you can" competition got a little tedious after sam running too far nd landing in a large patch of spiky grass. So I suggested we create some breasts out of sand...again always a classic. But of course Bulb wouldn't stop there, oh no; he wanted to use my perfectly formed melons to create a whole sand-woman! So, Sandy was formed...and what a woman she was! However her straw-dry hair and dry skin made her a little less appealing. So of course there was only one answer... give her a vagina using a budweiser bottle!

A little optimism for the rest of your miserable summer and life!

I would like to apologise before I truly begin by taking back a comment in my first post. I have not hit the bottom of the barrel of boredom, I do not watch Big Brother (something I am proud to announce to the world). It is probably the biggest waste of viewing time anyone could possibly imagine and the fact that the almost 24 hour live coverage has to be on E4 is just too much to bear. I would like to thank Mr Joe for pointng out this revelation to me! Now to those of you who are miserable as sin and probably contemplating suicide because you haven't pulled yet this summer and the weather is shite, *cough* matt *cough.* Get over it! It's like the old saying goes... Why do hot dogs get sold in cans of ten, but hot dog baps only get sold in packs of 8? Well you may not always have the bun, but you can always be sure you'll have a sausage. What does that load of bullshit mean I hear you all ask in an attentive yet slightly confused manner... well it means that whilst you may not have everything, you always have something. Whilst you may not a hav a girlfriend or good weather, you always have starbucks to visit with your mates. So slap a smile on your face and don't sit on your arse all day moaning 'cos the summer aint been what we all expected, get out and fucking do something! Forget the list of things you wanted to do if it was sunny, make a new list of things you wanna do while it isn't sunny! Just work with what you can, make the most of what freedom you have because once college hits you... BOOM! Social life over. Now that is off my chest, think I can relax and just ramble a bit now... *thinks of some ramblings* Meh screw it I can't really be arsed so I'll just sign off now and leave you all with this pathetic excuse for a post in which some of you may have expected something to make you smile, instead you got a lecture... some of you may take my advice, I don't know. But anyway...Byeee! Dedicated to Matt! Quote of the day: "Well my dad was an ogre, he tried to eat me."

Wow!

So it happened... There was actually the faintest glimmer of hope that the sun would shine for part of this summer. So as I sit here slightly tipsy thinking what the fuck was the point as the weather forecast shows nothing else but rain, I would like to say this: Fuck the summer, fuck good weather and roll on my holiday to Florida because I really think that is the most sun I will se this year. *Smiles* I relly have given up hoping for a sudden break from the torrential downpour from hell and gone back to my old optimistic self thinking "at least the sun will shine in America" (something I thought I would never be optimistic about). But hey, as long as I have sun and kick-ass theme parks who cares what country I'm in! Then as I glance at my desk and notice the Kennedy space centre rain poncho Rachel's mum kindly donated to me I realise that I won't be escaping rain, merely keeping warm in it! For when Florida rains, it bloody rains. But I don't care, I will have cheap goods and theme parks at my disposal...what can go wrong ( I shall post on the list as soon as I get back). =P To finalise I still haven't won the crystal cup, I haven't had much of a chance as it was actually sunny today and I could go out!! Til later when my head clears and I think of something else to rant about!

Mario Football!

As Rachel is slapping me on the back with a belt saying "Write one now, write one now" as I have introduced her to this blog, I thought I might shut her up by telling you my story of last night's efforts on "Mario strikiers charged football" which is an amazing game. Anyway if any of you read last night's post you will know that I have been struggling to claim the crystal cup from Diddy-Kong... so I attempted to rectify this by turning on my wii at 2am. Then it happened!! After losing to Mario on sudden death I thought restarting the crystal cup would be a good idea; to my horror i restarted the whole game! = So I spent my night winning the fire cup for the fourth time (yes I have made this retarded mistake a few times). Though I am pleased to say i did record a record win in my group game against Luigi (58-1) yes the 1 he scored was a little irritating. The great thing however about Mario football is that it isn't really a sport at all, i think it is the first time I have enjoyed football (possibly because of the presence of bombs and the ability to set the ball on fire or shoot giant hammers at the goalkeeper). But I think the one thing that really deserves a mention is the "Megastrike!" A shot in which the captain suddenly becoms possessed by some sort of external force and allows them to fire upto 6 shots at goal! Football as it should be I believe, if the premiership took all this into account I can honestly say I would watch a full 90 minutes of football, the poncey alternative that we get at the moment offers me about as much pleasure as slicing off my right testicle with a blunt stanley knife! Anyway Rach needs to do her make-up so this is Jamie-Man signing out, Au voir for now!

The beginning of an era!

Whilst most people who know me will know that normally I would mock such a possession as one's own blog, I feel that this summer has driven me to the absolute lowest depths of boredom....and thus this page was created. April and May seem so long ago now, when the sun shone over Swansea, (yes it does happen,) preparing us for the best summer any of us had experienced in our short 16 years of life. As the sun beat down at 1,000 degrees on the school's exam hall, we stuck through it knowing that within a few weeks we would be free for 3 glorious months of this weather. Sadly... we were mistaken. With nothing but torrential downpour across the country we have had nothing but job hunitng at starbucks and sitting on our arses doing nothing for the large part of June and July (probably fucking August too). Obviously there is but one person to blame... RIHANNA!!! Since the charts were cursed with her "Um-buh-rell-ah...eh eh eh" the nation has been in turmoil, the song which has brought about a wave of rain dances all over britain due to her 9 weeks on top of the charts (9 too many in my opinion) is the root cause for all of your shit holidays! Now that the song has finally been knocked off the top spot though, is the weather any better? Is it fuck! So i urge you readers, for the sake of every chld and teenager off school for the summer please head the neares record store or download site in your area/ web browser and buy every other single in the top 20!! PLEASE! Together we can knock this bitch off and restore the once glorious britich summertime to it's original state and let Tom cook burgers on the beach for EVERYONE! Except Rach and Becky because they're vegetarians so they, along with any other non-carnivores can hav their quorn burgers, HUH-ZAH!! Any way I'm tired now and I feel like a game ofMario Football on my wii (which I love very much ^^). The crystal cup seems to be evading me and i must claim it from Diddy-Kong if James and Jonny are ever to give me any credit! Toodle-pip for now xxx Quote of the day: "I've had about as much oppotunity to go to the beach this summer as I have to shag Lewis Hamilton up the arse whilst singing 'I'm little teapot' bollock naked in the middle of trafalgar sqaure"